The Dark Side

December 19, 2019
 macfightsback
The final episode of the Star Wars Saga will debut in a day or two.  If you ever watched a Star Wars movie, you probably are familiar with the “Dark Side of the Force”. Today I am not going to discuss Star Wars.

Instead, I am going to discuss “The Dark Side” of cancer. The topics that are seldom or never mentioned. This will be based on my personal experiences. I hope by shining a light on this, others who are experiencing similar situations will know they are not alone.

Seldom discussed side effects of chemotherapy:

“Ringing in the ears”:

I developed (Tinnitus) from Gemzar, I still have this over a year later. I developed this about 4 hours after receiving Gemzar, that morning. It was sudden onset and was unrelated to ear wax or any infection, awakening me from a nap. After I removed all my ear wax,
I still had Tinnitus. (The PA blamed my ear wax.) Then, my Oncologist gave his opinion that it was from Carboplatin that I had received one week before. I still believe it was the Gemzar.

CAUTION:. This may be disturbing to some people:

Suddenly appearing, sores in the perineal area popped up. They were painful, egg sized or larger (ouch!) inflamed areas that throb when you sit, walk and we won’t talk about sex. Another word is abcess. I had two when I was on Taxol and Carboplatin, despite excellent personal hygiene. My Gynecological Oncology Surgeon told me later it was due to my hair falling out “down there.”. Warm compresses and soaking in a warm tub several times per day did clear each up in 7-10 days. A procedure called an “I&D” (Incision and Drainage) can be done, if all else fails. I was terrified of an infection, if the procedure was done. I knew all to well of antibiotic resistant organisms in medical facilities and with a compromised immune system due to chemo, I felt it was double jeopardy! Someone else did post online that they had this problem too.

Oncologists blaming well known chemo side effects on something else:.

This has happened with me twice. My first Oncologist in 2015 tried to convince me my mild neuropathy in my left foot (Yep I still have that too) was related to sciatica and not to receiving 6 rounds of Carboplatin and Taxol.

Just a few weeks ago, I mentioned to my Oncologist’s PA on a routine visit about having worsening problems with “chemo brain. (Briefly, in my experience chemo brain means having trouble remembering words more often when discussing a subject, feeling like you are in a fog and becoming more forgetful being unable to multitask or remember what I was getting ready to do just as I began to do it.). My problems with chemo brain got worse with my 6th round of Doxil and Avastin. The PA mentioned one of the other Oncologists in the practice (not mine) did not believe in chemo brain but felt it was related to fatigue from chemotherapy. The main problem with that theory is my chemo brain developed after chemo was over with and I had no fatigue and worsened after chemo was resumed for the 3rd time, 9 months later. Believe me, I can differentiate regular fatigue from chemo brain. I used to work 12 hour night shifts in ICU and I never had chemo brain symptoms then. It is NOT related to fatigue.

Sugar Coating the Truth:

This is done with good intentions, I am sure. My primary care provider did it when sharing CT scan results upon diagnosis in 2015. It “might be malignant” and it might not. (A foot ball sized tumor with a CA-125 over 600) My Gynecological Oncology Surgeon did it in 2018. After showing me my suspicious CT scan, he said, well it might not be anything, we may just need to monitor you more closely for a while. I finally convinced him to tell me what he really thought and he said it is probably a reoccurence. Last year in December, my current Oncologist said “Don’t freak out” when showing me the 2 pulmonary nodules which had suddenly appeared on my CT scan since July. “It probably is how the CT scan slices are cut”. In April, the lesions had doubled so we knew it was a threat. Then, as I described in a previous blog post, just 8 days ago. He shows me a CT where my 2 pulmonary nodules are bigger. He then explains again, it might be how the CT slices are cut. Bottom line, my chemo begins again in January.
I
guess the doctors believe they are being kind. I believe kindness and the truth should be equally shared with the patient. After all, we all have heard how bad too much sugar is for you. Right?
macfightsback
  • macfightsback

  • I worked as a registered nurse in Critical Care for over 35 years. I retired in 2017. I am single, never married. I have one sister, one brother and I am an aunt. I love animals and nature, especially cats. My Siamese cat, Tiger is my constant companion and joy. I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in July 2015. I received debulking surgery at that time. I have been through chemotherapy a total of 3 times. I am receiving it now for pulmonary nodules which popped up on my CT scan in April and an area under my left diaphragm which is also positive for cancer. This is my 2nd reoccurence. No symptoms with this reoccurence or the reoccurence I had in 2018. (See what I mean by MY SNEAKY CANCER ) ?

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